Hard time

Now is the beginning of May's semester of my academic life, which also consider my last semester toward graduation!

However, things won't be too easy, many commitment or correction need to be rush, avoid even manipulate!

I hope that everything will be fine, smooth and able to proceed to my graduation, internship and life's goals in time.

This semester will be a special semester for me, changes and strategic planning need to take out from the storebox. In order to avoid postpone related to everything, sacrifice of leisure time taken place.

And thx to God I completed my games' series or stories.

How hard is my last semester, actually not hard in term of subject. Yet the most dangerous and disgusting part is, I'm taking Ok Ok subject on the other hand taking most difficult and problematic THESIS. Which mean you are drinking a hot water, suddenly drink a cold water, makes teeth painful, routinely!

I want to thank God, to allow me have no war's friends around me, everything in front of me consist of mist. The feeling was like I dropped from an aeroplane to a land, no guidance at all! The only defense and initiative weapon, is my body and eyes.

Of course I knew God's plan, the training ground, the forces for me to draw near to Him. But, in my context, all this is rubbish, I just knew only pray and cry out like baby to Him, begging Him to walk with me, every time.

I don't want to love God because He had trained me become a warrior of something. And I hate to love God due to He done something for me, although all christian walk like this.

Hard time, the failure just like a line far away, how close is it. However, God walk with me, fight with me, was because I love Him? no.

This semester, the last one, will be the big possibility for me to express my dissatisfaction. Feels like going to the faculty, grabbing a hammer and gently hit the center of the faculty's glass, just once. But, love told me to think and understand the external first. We better thank to the King.

Am I a good student, intelligent and great group leader, excellent result student?

HaHa... These enable me to acknowledge, what is the real successful person outside the uni, real success.

God not only training me in skills, knowledges or stature. He also open my mind to see the way of successful person's birth-forth.

If fail!!! If graduate!!! Am I gonna judge myself a useless person, or a intelligent person?

No, there are no dot for people to judge. Judge veil the road infront.

Everything uphold to Him, now alone or not alone? Yes and No, cause there are spiritual dimension involved, in my academic life. Hiew, shame to express that.

Praise God for the complicated plan that I saw! The blue-print from God is really hard to digest one. :)