03152017 0500PM, Sea Swim, Death's Shadow. Survival, Helpless, No one knows. Jesus spoke


05:00PM - decided to go to the beach and have a ocean swim.
05:30PM - Swimming, deeper and deeper and deeper, worth it, using every stroke that I master, butterfly still learning.

06:20PM - maybe is time to swim back to shore, depth roughly have 3 of me.

Panic come when I observe everything in term of distance and indication still remain far and stagnant, as I blast swim with freestroke, breaststroke.

I begin to encounter fear, panic and helpless, as I'm far from shore, and I can't hardly see beach, but only tall tree from the far.

My mind become to mess up and emotionless, as I figure out I'm in trouble swimming back to shore.
Negative mind begin to strike my mental, as theory of ocean wave pulling.

I had no time to shout, and I knew that was pointless for me to shout for help as no body I could see, and no ship around as well.

I begin to lost track although shore was in front of me, energy drained, my mind mess-up, and lost time.

Sunset, half-sun gone caused me panic more, light started to fade off, and I knew that without sunlight, my sight could had lost everything as indication.

Free style, breast stroke, back stroke.
Stroke that I mastered, caused me more fear, as I performed my master-stroke but it felt like effortless to the distance between me and shore.

I just keep on routinely swim 3 stroke, free style and breast stroke caused me panic more, as I keep swimming and my eyes saw everything un-moved.

I'm too fear and panic to take a test of the depth with what I usually do, I'm paniced and I hardly inhaled and exhaled slowly my breathe, tensed.

Back stroke with hand pedal side by side, spared me a little time to rest and talk to my Jesus.

Through out all these chaos, I able to listen Jesus, my word, and the negative thought.

I'm beside you, keep swimming, and do not fear.
Why am I here, why I never knew I'm so damn far.
I'm hope I don't die like this, I hope someone know I'm seeking for help.
I'm gonna die if sunlight goes down.
Have faith, every life-journey I won't let you be harmed or cause life lost.
I'm your God. I hope someone tell me end soon, I hope someone tell me it is okay, but cannot, I need to be kept on swimming as I could. But all the visual still unchanged despite my effort, and sunset almost end.

As I swimming and exhaustively drank few times of sea water even BACKSTROKE, there were 3 voices in my mental, I forgot my exhausted, forgot my muscle burnt or whatever, I knew I'm in survival mode, eyes big. I had no emotion, but to keep swim toward shore, the only things that I thought left me anchored was my swimming gaggle that no yet leak in a drop of sea water, I could not imagined if my gaggle leaked in some sea water, I guess I will be more trouble in surviving these.

As these voices, and undestinated-effort keep routine, I boldly and felt like giving one more time to test the depth using my body, and I madly did it, it reach 3/4 of my height.

I surrender my mental to Jesus, as I kept on jumped up and dived down to touch the sandbed and jumped up again to catch breathe, with this I able to at least predict I'm little and little getting near to the shore and getting shallow bit by bit.

I kept on telling Jesus I'm sorry, but I didn't understand why, I felt like I'm admitting wrongs to my dad, as like I done things wrong that I don't even know.

Bit by Bit, started to walk toward the shore, from surface of my face, until chest, stomach, leg, knee, finally small leg.

I begin to blank and felt a bit dizzy as I on shore, my muscle trigger to soar, and I started to tremble, but I just kept cool, I felt my face whitish as my body went so pale.

As I walked through the way to toilet, I'm tremble and speechless.
No one really there along my way, only night-guard smile at me, and my auntie that smile cause of I'm back to place.

No one knows it.

This was not a test to gain a lesson, but a real visitation to the shadow of death when no one knows it, , light fading out, lost of time, lost track of distance, no mathematics, no ships around, helpless, mentally torture, sight-seeing cause panic and by all myself.

But through these death's shadow, now I able to feel thankful to all tangible people and things around of me, have no point to go into depression, blaming or anything that once felt doesn't fair.

I'm thankful, and speechless. Jesus's word is important, and it always work and able to apply to any circumstances even to the death or not.

I begin to think that Iron-Man swimming contest do have indication of distance, guards and mind knowing that people around are watching. I found that I'm too crazy ended-up floating on the sea without all these, I'm not into Iron-Man swimming that time, I'm nearly dead surviving.

If there is no God's word intervene into the chaos mentally fight, I could not guarantee I able to jot all these words here.

That's so real, panic and fear usually may cause life lost even only depth of 3 of me. When theory hit in and I start panic, all my boldness gone, my muscle, mind connection all disconnect.

Backstroke allowed me to take rest, but unable to track things around me.

Now I understand why there gonna need meter indication, buddy system, guards when doing swimming contest, it provide safe-mind and guide to the swimmer, without that, the swimmer may ended up like me, floater, panic and chaos.

Now my body muscle soar, small appetite, and image and feeling feel so fresh yet.

I thank God, the words, the bible reading, the phrases become rhema that cheer me or comfort me and gave me so much strength from mind to the body while I'm in deep shit, life threat.

What things can got worst again, even God knows and He saves.

I gonna go back to swim, but next time no deeper and deeper, but just beside the shore, and shallow.


(Visibility: 4 meter. Creature: NONE. Depth: 3 of me _ Sand was cold and sticky, shallow part sea full of sand floating)

2 Bird Cages - Episode 1

Winds and strikes lay upon, no matter how sweat and trembling cold hit taking place, there is no little one still able to bring warm to them, recovered-wound that sleep on the skin forever.

Once upon a time, upon the sky able to visualize all the bird were munching and picking the tiny logs to build their own house as every bird always do, as we know this will be the culture for all living to shows its life's performance and production, well.

Hot day, young Zajia carry a strong-log fly to the nest to hope for more shelter and security, this nest is something that means to himself, because the nest able to provide foods and water to Zajia's not merely family but also the surrounding community! What a life that Zajia had in responsibility, to maintain and to learn.

Then came across a tiny female bird, fly-by without whispering a flick. That's weird, it caught Zajia's attention, yet without any chances, the busyness of them just drove them by in the midst of the air, birds continue to sing and the feather sometimes drop onto the ground as usual regardless light or at night.

Oppsss, Zajia's log miss-tune and fallen onto the corner from the nest, and understand that it need special picking helps from other species of bird! Whispering whispering whispering, finally caught the attention of the group of bird! After few seconds, the group of bird lazily just instruct picker to the nest that the log miss-tuned. Woooommmm, what... hey, the tiny female-bird! Zajia just whisperless but to open the nest and pin-point the problem to the "specialist bird", the tiny female bird flick the wing with strong feathers, begin to pick pluck and tune the strong-log, wow! Amazing, without any fails, the log be together again with the logs, wow! Nest is secured again, phew! Zajia appreciate so much for the picking and bow-down the wing toward the little tiny bird, yes as usual, without any flick or anything, the tiny bird just fly away and join back to the group of bird.

As day past by, yupe... problem of the nest, is the same log that keep Zajia headache, therefore, whisper whisper whisper, the same little tiny bird come again for picking... wait, not so easy, this problem keep Zajia whisper about 5-6 times, and miraclely the same tiny ... tiny smart bird keep on cleaning the mess! Wohoo... what a patience female-bird. Her perseverance and excellency begin to draw attention not only Zajia, but surrounding birds too!

So, due to the inconvenience for keeping whispering, addition the female-bird keep on come and forth regarding tiredness and day-light. Zajia begin to fly-by and keep beside the female-bird to contribute some positive encouragement and also plus appreciation. In these flying-by, they start to at least communicate and singing! Fascinating! Zajia even share the information of location that worm hide, they even go catch worms for daily food, and they start to become buddy in living, oh yeah~

Zajia singing out the best of him, and does little female-bird too, and through the singing they get to learn the 2 different type of species, reading the feathers and showing the wing pattern that their culture taught, the concept of flying and guideline of catching different type of worms. And finally, the female-bird is called, Peazcock, the very very native bird of the land, even Zajia also need moments to dive in the knowledge of the native-bird. Peazcock, Zajia only manage to remember after all the details that Peazcock gave, but both bird are happily singing together as like no more picking!

End episode - to be continue...


In my Christianity journey with God, there is one pastor that enlighten, open-up, and taught me about what it's mean to be a christian that ought to be by according to Bible.

The pastor bring bible come really alive to me, into my life, and my though-ability.

Remember there was time that Christian do not touch Harry Potter production? Remember when there was the time do not listen to music that produced by celebrities? Remember when there was the time christian do not wear trendy attire?

And yupe, I believe many christian understand these things.

I very idolize this pastor so much, because he is the one that not only bring bible come alive, yet he show us bible word-by-word that christian should no focus on these things but to really live with God in freedom and glory to glory.

He is none other then Pastor Kong Hee, CHC senior pastor + founder.

And there was a time as well, when I listen to his cd sermon, or youtube sermon, saw and listen to the way he preach the Word mighty, praise and worship God so vibrantly.

In midst I though to myself, what if a day, I can serve God as drummer in Pastor Kong Hee service. I will be die with no complaint seriously. What if I got the chance to see Pastor Kong Hee's back when in midst service, it will be miracle and impossible scenery.

Guess what, yesterday and today I been blessed with massive privilege to serve as drummer in Pastor Kong Hee's service, 2 days!!!

The feeling was like, I'm heading to war with a legend war-leader that everybody know, and no one get the chance easily to war with the legend warrior. When the legend warrior roar, all enemies fells apart and tremble, and me and all the winning group stepping the enemies head and chanting victory.
It just not everybody can had such dream come to true.

I need to brag it, cause this will be my life achievement not only in my ministry journey or church-life, but it will be my "life" achievement. True say, if you let me choice Jay Chow or Pastor Kong Hee to take picture or fellowship with, I indeed will jump to Pastor Kong Hee and hug him first before you offer the option.

I will tell Jesus I serve as drummer boy if I meet Jesus one day in the heaven.

Pastor Kong Hee is the major pastor that bring revival and raise the young-generation for God's kingdom. What else I can say, I have the privilege to serve Pastor Kong Hee with my little talent.

More than enough I should say, and these experience I truly will share to my children when times come. I serve the man of God!!!

God, you watched me right? the time when I thought to myself "naively".
People sure will laugh if that time I the thought to just anybody.

But God, I admit myself I'm not perfect at all all all. God you raise me, enlighten my, brew me with your plan in me.

God, let's get your job done in me anytime, I'm always open to you no matter what situation I'm in.

By the way, really looking forward like what pastor said publicly, pastor might bring his chc team to here GCC and serve God and bless the people!!! Of course, it will be great if the team allow us to gel-up and join them to worship God with congregation! Wohoooo!

God, you are watching right, hehehehehehe... and Amen!

:D Privilege, God I love You!